A hand writing on lined paper with a fountain pen

01

What letter writing actually involves

Half an hour, a page or two

A session is short and quiet. You sit at a table with paper and a pen, reread the last letter you received from that person if there is one, and write a page or two by hand. A one-page letter takes 20 to 30 minutes. Then you address the envelope, add a stamp and drop it in a mailbox. Most domestic mail arrives in two to five days, and letters abroad usually take one to three weeks. Between sessions there is nothing to maintain. Regular writers keep two to five correspondents going and write once or twice a week, which works out to about an hour.

02

How to send your first letter

Tick these off as you go

A blue U.S. Mail collection box on a sidewalk under trees — The blue collection box

Official postage and addressing rules

What you can send in your first month

A one-page catch-up letter

News, one shared memory and a question, mailed to a relative or an old friend.

Three thank-you notes

Four sentences each, written in one sitting and posted the same day.

A pen pal introduction

Two pages about who you are and what you would like to hear about, sent to a new correspondent.

A postcard to a stranger

Five or six lines about your town, mailed through a postcard exchange.

A reply

Your answer to the first letter that comes back, picking up the questions they asked you.

Old handwritten postcards with stamps and postmarks, fanned out on a black surface

03

Kinds of mail to send

Open one to see where to start

Letters to people you knowCatching up with relatives and friends on paper. Needs nothing beyond the base kit.

Start here

Pick one person whose address you already have and write them a single page tonight: what you have been doing, one memory you share and one question for them to answer.

Pen palsA regular exchange with someone you have never met, often in another country. Uses the base kit, plus an international stamp for letters abroad.

Start here

Write a five-line introduction (where you live, what you do, three interests, how often you can write) and post it where people look for postal pen pals. Reply to the first two people whose own introductions you enjoyed reading.

Global Penfriends

PostcardsFive or six lines on the back of a picture, sent to friends or swapped with strangers around the world. Needs cards, which are also cheaper to mail.

Start here

Create a free account, request your first address and mail a card this week. Your own address then goes to another member, so a card from a stranger arrives a few weeks later.

Postcrossing

Thank-you and occasion notesA few sincere sentences on a small folded card. Needs a box of blank cards with envelopes.

Start here

Think of the last three people who did something for you and write each one four sentences: what they did, what it meant, one detail about how you used it and a warm sign-off.

Letters to strangersEncouraging mail for seniors, patients or people going through a rough stretch, sent through an organization. Uses the base kit.

Start here

Read one organization's guidelines first (most ask for no dates, no last names and a legible hand), then write a single cheerful page and mail it to the address they publish.

Love For Our Elders

Decorated mailEnvelopes and pages dressed up with patterned tape and stamped images, so the letter looks like a gift before it is opened. Needs tape and a stamp set.

Start here

Take a plain envelope you have already addressed and add one strip of tape along the flap and one stamped image on the back. Keep the front clear around the address so sorting machines can read it.

Open a kind of mail to see its first step. Postcards, note cards and decorated mail each add their own lines to the kit, and you can switch on more than one.

04

What makes a letter worth getting

Write the way you talk.

Read a sentence aloud, and if you would never say it to this person, rewrite it.

Go small and specific.

The smell of the bakery on your new street tells them more than a line saying the move went well.

Answer their letter before adding your own news.

Keep it open beside you and respond to what they told you and asked you.

End with a question or two.

It gives them an easy first paragraph for the reply.

Slow your hand down slightly.

Legible beats pretty, and printing is fine if your cursive is hard to read.

A hand holding a fan of cards printed with floral and fruit patterns — Cards ready to write

05

What trips beginners up

What to expect, and what to drop

Expect slow replies. Two to four weeks is normal, and some people never write back. It is rarely about you.
Expect a stiff first letter. The voice loosens by the third or fourth one to the same person.
Expect a tired hand after two pages if you have not written at length since school. It passes within a few weeks.
Do not wait for something worth writing about. Ordinary days are what people enjoy reading.
Do not take on ten pen pals at once. Start with two or three, or the replies turn into a chore.
Do not guess at postage. Thick, rigid or square envelopes and anything over one ounce cost extra, and underpaid mail comes back to you.
Do not skip the return address. Without it an undeliverable letter is simply lost.

06

Sharing your address safely

Exchange a few messages with a new pen pal before trading home addresses, and stop if anything feels off.
A PO box or a work address is a reasonable choice if you would rather not give out where you live.
Never send cash, gift cards or money to a pen pal, whatever the story. Requests for money are the most common pen pal scam.
If you write through an organization, follow its rules on last names, dates and personal details. They protect the recipients.

07

Where to find people to write to

Start with people you already know: a grandparent, a friend who moved away, a former teacher. When you want more mail, pen pal sites and forums match you with strangers who have asked for postal letters, postcard exchanges send your cards around the world, and letter-writing charities pass your words to people who need them. A yearly challenge in February is a good push if you like a deadline.

Pen pals, postcard swaps and letter charities

A bundle of old letters tied with string beside a dip pen and an ink bottle — Letters people kept

08

Why the kit is this small

Postage is the real running cost, so stamps come first, bought from the post office. For paper, check three things before buying. Weight: sheets around 24 to 32 lb (90 to 120 gsm) feel substantial and stop ink from showing through. Ruling: lined sheets keep your lines straight, and unlined sheets look cleaner if you slip a ruled page underneath as a guide. Envelopes: a set that includes matching envelopes saves hunting for a size that fits. A smooth pen matters more than an expensive one, since hand fatigue is what cuts a letter short. Everything else on the list belongs to one kind of mail and stays switched off until you pick it.

Cream and white envelopes and paper tags laid flat — Paper and envelopes that match

09

Fill the writing box

The first line is stamps, which you buy at the post office, not online. Compare the options on the other lines, then set your tiers and check out from the writing box. Clicking a card selects it there. Paper and pens start in the box. The postcard, note card and decorated mail lines join once you switch on that kind of mail.

First-class postage stamps

essential · Postage

Nothing leaves the house without one. A stamp that never expires covers a standard one-ounce letter anywhere in the country, even after rates go up.

Not sold on Amazon · buy at the post office

Not sold on Amazon. Buy a book of 20 non-expiring first-class stamps at a post office counter, from the postal service's own online store, or at a grocery store checkout. Skip discounted stamps from online marketplaces, which are often counterfeit. Postcards take a cheaper stamp, and a letter to another country needs a single international stamp.

Letter writing paper and envelopes set

essential · Core equipment

Paper made for letters takes ink without showing through and comes with envelopes that fit it, so a finished page is ready to mail.

budget

Mr. Pen- Stationery Writing Paper Set with Envelopes, 8.18" x 5.5"

4.6(531)

$5.85

Letter Writing

What letter writing actually involves

How to send your first letter

Kinds of mail to send

What makes a letter worth getting

What trips beginners up

Sharing your address safely

Where to find people to write to

Why the kit is this small

Fill the writing box

First-class postage stamps

Letter writing paper and envelopes set

Smooth gel or rollerball pens

Assorted postcards

Blank note cards with envelopes

Washi tape set

Rubber stamp set with ink pad

Letter storage box